GIRL IN THE NET
“Can I offer you a French Fry, little Sister?”- Early 80’s McDonalds commercial.

Part of my childhood was watching a lot of bad-for-you TV propaganda. The best were the McDonalds ad’s about French Fries. I can remember this one which used to be in constant repeat during CBS’s cartoon showcases that featured an older brother looking back at his life long relationship with his sister and how McDonalds played a huge part in their growing up. In every memory, he would walk up to his little sister with a French fry as if to taunt her with it. As the song jingles on, so do the years and now little sis is at her graduation and they are all out at McDonalds celebrating and he (comically) holds up a French Fry at her and she blushes. OH YOUZ!
In my life I remember the same scene happening only my brother was pelting me with them which brings me into the reason for boring you with the first story.
There was this other McDonalds ad with the same theme in it- little sis and big bro. This one was the 80’s Christmas Spectacular and as Canadian as they can get they go to the local ice rink with childhood friend Ronald McDonald. Little sis is too small to play and she walks off all sad to go whine at the peculiar animated woodland creatures. Big bro feels bad, takes a stand and runs back to her. A COMPROMISE WAS MADE! Next scene, little sis is working the goal with a stupid smile on her face and the clown laughing it up.
You know why he’s laughing? Because every older brother knows that the only thing little sis is good for in hockey is to stick in the net so she makes funny noises when pucks fly at her head. Go ahead- ask any little sister and they will tell you of their own stories of getting stuck in that net while her brother and his friends laugh and take slap shots at her skull.
I think it’s why little sis’s grow up to be better hockey players in the end. Every other hockey player in the world can’t be as scary as their goony older brother cheating.
And thus we have the logic behind the painting I did a few months ago, Hockey Lesson on Mill Pond. It is a classic big bro and little sis in an argument over taking the net or playing figure skater.

It wasn’t always going to be that. Tony came over here one night and insisted I paint a night scene. I thought in my head what my happiest Milton night memory from my childhood was (since we didn’t want a red smear blur if I took it from my teens). The only one I could get was the Winter Fest where we could skate on the Mill Pond at night- the first time I ever skated on a pond and at night. Back then, Milton was still fairly small so when you got really far back on the pond the stars twinkled above your head and you were surrounded by large black blobs of sound halting energy. It also smelt like rotten eggs- but I think that was the frozen pond itself.
I love to play hockey, not as much as I like to play Frisbee, but its right up with tobogganing in the winter time. Next time I see my brother lurching that hard walk down the street, I should pelt him with French Fries- see how he likes it and if he remembers.