Wednesday, June 30, 2004
i often wonder if you really read my blog or just pass it up as another thing i do when your not paying attention to me. i also wonder if im really that selfish when it comes to matters of us, but i desire attention just as much as the next person so i wish you would take a little more.
take my time. take my energy. take what is little and presious to me and use it for yourself like you used to- but that doesnt seem to happen.
am i wrong to fly away every once and a while? I was like that when you met me, so whats the point in complining about it now? i always come back cause i do but everytime i do you never seem to notice. i'll just kid and think that i gained weight or that my hair got longer.

you just cant deny that my hair has gotten longer- you going to hold me down and lop it off?

Thursday, June 24, 2004
i fell asleep at 9:20 last night and woke up face down in the pillow realizing that everything was exactly the same when i went to bed. the lights were on, the back door open and the door to my bedroom was unshut. i think i just ment to lie down for a bit before i would start work on something else, but i guess i passed out.

there is something wonderful outside that keeps calling me. I dont know what it is about today but you can feel it. Everytime i look towards an open window i can smell it, feel it and i cant take my eyes off it. its as if a change happened last night and i woke up to it and havent taken notice of it yet but I sence something wonderful.

demands: get a car. lose some weight. quit that job. get a desk job. dont stay at home. dont go past town lines. wait.

you knew i had long hair when you met me so dont be sour that I want to grow it back.

Tuesday, June 08, 2004
You always get mad when i say your wrong.

Suck it up.

There are better things to get angry over then yourself.

Wednesday, June 02, 2004
I keep forgeting how great my boss is sometimes. Even though I missed a few day last week and were scraped for hours he made sure to make up for the hours lost last week onto this week and I didnt even have to ask.
The kool-aide i made a few days ago tastes like god-less cold water. Its really stank and it makes me long that I had budgeted food money this week cause I would run out and get something better then this tripe.
Greg had one of those importaint "friend to friend" talks last night with me. One of those talks that you just dont want to have with anyone or even adress even thought its more obvious then the triangle on my face.
i'll fall and i'll die a thousand times over if i do but if i dont i'll march like a zombie feeding form the lifeforce of others.

Tuesday, June 01, 2004
I go back to work today after being away for 4 days- possibly even 5 days. I havent really been counting- just sort of flinging the days together as i clean my apartment and eat food from scraps I have saved from 3 weeks ago. At least all my bills are paied off and i can keep it that way- I know kids who even have issues paying for stuff and they live at home. I couldnt deal living on my own with a student loan or massive bill payments to shell out for each time a check comes your way.
i sliced my damn finger open last night and figured when i was cleaning that baking soda wont sting it... sure. yeah. i musta been off last night cause my hand stung so bad and i kept trying to do strange things like type on a key board with wet sopping hands.

i guess i'll get ready for work.