MISSING THE SIGNS
Stolen: One campaign sign
When: Between the wee hours of midnight and 11am Sunday Morning
How: Plucked from the wary cold bosom of grass by the new maple tree
Who: I do not know who you are, but when I find you, I am going to beat your butt cherry red with the replacement sign.
That is a promise.

I wake up this morning to go on assignment to discover my campaign sign of my own political choice (not going into details on who I am voting for since that is not at question here) was striped from off my front lawn. There I was, The Killer’s "All These Things That I've Done" playing in my ears (at the part where it is going ‘I got soul but I’m not a solder’) and I discover my campaign sign missing. Maybe it blew away in the wind we had the night before- but I remember I saw it when I came in the night before and it was not that windy last night. In addition, no other signs on my street were missing and I checked the ravine by my house for it with no luck.
Damn politically motivated theft!
That got me thinking that either someone in my building does not agree with my political viewpoints or some stoner took it as a joke. Whatev’s! Who takes campaign signs right off peoples front lawns? I feel slightly violated by whoever took it- not only was it my sign, but it was in respects to my beliefs. No one else’s beliefs were stolen off any of the other houses on my road, so why just mine? Is it because I live right on the corner or because I live right at the corner?

I keep another sign, but in my window that reads, “FARMERS FEED CITIES” which stands as my political voice for the need to be pro active on agriculture needs and issues. If anyone takes that sign I’ll be sure to really rip into them.

I guess I will have to get another dumb sign to stick out on the lawn. I could be humorous, write “VOTE FOR PIE”, stick that in my lawn, and wait to see who comes by to kick that over, but meh. Been there, did that, sooo 2004.

Anyway, here is my letter to the jerk who took my sign:
Hello whoever you are,
You took my sign and I am rather unimpressed. It seems you enjoyed taking my political sign, so I was thinking of coming over to YOUR lawn and post 50 of them all in your flower bed and duct tape a few to the hood of your car. Don’t mess with AnnK- I keeps it real and I get REAL messed when people take stuff from me.