Tuesday, July 06, 2004
i had a dream about you 2 nights ago- you were in the classroom and i was late running up the stairs unknowing that you were there. i get in and everyone's in pairs and none of my friends are looking my way. teacher moves me through the croud and there you are sitting with your head down gaising out the window lost in some kind of silly tourmoil you had when you were younger. You look up and see me. Flash and whirlwind and I dont know you but it is you and the noisy classroom is miles away.
i can hear it humming at that point as silly and childlike as i was back then,
"i wanna take you home
i wanna give you children
i could be your girlfriend
oh yeah yeah yeah"
(side note- i dont or cant remeber if music actauly plays in my dreams or if i'm remebering a feeling of that song. its hard to tell but i know usally when i dream i have whispers of some kind of music track haunting in the background... i dont really want to give you children- Jarvis might, but i bet he's much like me and just wants to do dirty things)

snap back to the story at hand, enough explanations

Teacher comes up behind me and puts a cold hand on my shoulder "come with me, missy" and the dry wooden classroom is gone and you melt away and all thoughts i had of you are gone as a photo is shoved in my face. I'm thrown out and deserted.
the classroom disapears and i'm running down Queen street 5 blocks up from Spadina- possibly raining or possibly just annoyingly moist- i'm running with amb and were out running cars and trains. he turns to me and shows me the photo the teacher had... its me in a croud and i'm acting cracked up sorry, kid- this schools no good for junkies
how could you sell me out? how could you tell everyone- my boss, my parents, my teachers!
its writen on my face and i keep running hoping i'll find you on your way home.

i wake up and i cant hear the alarm. i turn my head slowly to the left and then i can hear it. lost hearing in one ear temperaily. cant move my arms- they flung up over my head and the blood ran out. i heave my shoulders and flop them down next to me lying on my side breathing and feeling the warm sensation of blood flowing back into them. they look like lumps of white soap floating in a bathtub ocean. i lie like that for an hour feeling the blood move in my body.