Thursday, May 13, 2004

this lady comes into my work today and is going on about this dinner theater thing she loves to go to. She's so old and blibbering about it and then suddenly I feel tears well up in my face and I get this shock
im turning 24
im not living my dream
im going to get old
im going to waste away
im going to die only wishing

and then I understood why people attach bombs to their bodies and blow stuff up. I undertood and it sickened me.

Orlando hung himself 4 years ago and I had his mom come in and remind me... please dont tell me... i cant help but know why and remeber the day cause it was 2 days before my birthday...

if i could, i'd probably hang myself.

I just cant seem to get it right anymore, every moment is like terrible dejavu and I drift from one theme to the next feeling bitter and angry looking at everything. The pains come each terrible time and im sick of it
im sick of looking this way and im sick of people treating me poorly but that has always happned
everytime I get an objectifed comment I stab a knife into my heart and cry endlessly. I cant get my anger out right.
why couldnt i have died in that car accident? why couldnt I let go when my brother pushed me into the river when i was a kid? Why couldnt I just OD and die choaking on my own vomit? Why does God keep saving me over and over again just to teatter and totter back and forth in this banality?
i have to find that out sometime

@ Thursday, May 13, 2004

ALL ABOUT ANNK!

I am a painter, I eat, sleep, talk. I slack, I do housework. I write stories, I watch TV, use the computer.
I hail from Milton, my friends are from Milton. We live, we drink coffee, we sleep in little beds.

We are just like you only maybe not as close.

Y

MY LOVELIST

I love...
apple juice, cookies, warm summer mornings, books, cotton fibers, pastel coffee mugs, holidays, flowers, French,  rainy days, fresh laundry smell.

I also love playing Earthbound!

N

MY  HATELIST

People who smell like pea soup.


HOW TO GET AN ANNK

- I like flowers. Girls like flowers.

- I like comic books- ones with crazy stories in them. That is a sure win.

- I need spray paint... to umm... decorate. Girls are totally into that decorating crap.

- I have my eyes on Leonard Cohen's new book of poems.

- I like video games so make sure you buy lots of tokens for the arcade at the theater.

Recently bought CD:
The Breeders Last Splash- Third time buying this album and this time is for keeps!


Please leave me a message and I will bet back to you ASAP!


PLEASE VISIT MY FRIENDS PLACES!

{♥} Greg
{♥} Sarah
{♥} Gail
{♥} Colin

designer : kathleen
image : jde

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Too True, too rude