Saturday, May 08, 2004
I had this dream today...

I was looking at the newspaper and there was my Painting in it... it was saying that it was going up for auction for $5000 and my Artist statement was being used for half the article. I was upset and suddenly i had the painting in my hands and i was putting it on a huge piece of paper... i had to tear it a bit to get it to fit and was standing over it with my brother waiting for it to dry. We were watching a Muppets movie but one I have never seen and i was over-shawn at the direction in it. My parents were waiting for me to get ready to take me to a garage sale **which really did happen today- i got a humidifyer! no more itchy skin!** and we were driving all over the place...
I was in the shoppers drug mart trying to buy sanitary products for my skin- disinfectants, cleaning pads, gauze... I forgot my wallet and was thinking i should be buying this stuff in Zellers...

I woke up and lied there in bed looking at the darkness- then my phone rang. I lept up and it was my folks to take me to that garage sale.
When they stoped by, my dad leaned into me and whispered "its mothers day on sunday" and i chortle back rally loud "I got her something alread! I couldnt forget that, dad!"

When you live on your own and you do stuff with your parents its odd... I think I miss them more then anything when I am around them. I also cant bring myself to ask them for money for stupid things... man im so poor right now.
I look at them now and see them moving so slow... especially my mom. She's got something odd with ther hip-bone right now... I guess mother like daughter... I long for the day she quits the terrible resturant she slaves away in and can just stay at home with her books and my dad living out the end of her days happy and job-free.

They left, and I throw on some jazz station and the haunting music voids over me and into my place....
"who am i....."
"who am i....."
"who am i....."

I throw my head back and lull in the thoughts of history, religion, work and self-distruction and feel a burn in me twist to the music and the thoughts within it's simple beat...

who am i indeed